Five Ways to Process Death of a Family Member


Processing the death of a family member can be very challenging. The grieving process can be very painful. Most people will experience the pain of losing a close family member or a loved one at least once in their lifetime. No one likes to talk about death. However, death is the one inevitable thing and the one appointment that we all must keep.

With the death of a loved one, such as a family member or a spouse you will experience a period of grieving. Mourning is a natural human emotion. We grieve because we are trying to recover from the tragic disappointment of death. The healing process can be short, or it can last for several months. Whether the process of mourning is short or long, the death of losing a family member is an emotional pain that compares to no other.

Grieving Family Loss

Grieving is difficult for everyone, and people express their grief in many different ways. Some people withdraw from the company of others, while others seek to surround themselves with as many people as possible.

They say time heals a broken heart. However, healing only occurs when we come to terms with the substance of our loss. It has been sixteen years since the death of my son but occasionally it is still a painful reality for me. That was a very tough period of my life. I thought I would never be able to move past the tremendous pain.

Five Things You Should Do When Losing A Family Member

No one can lay claim to a right or wrong way to grieve. However, there are some things you can do to help you cope with the pain of losing a family member. Here are five things you should do to help you recover from the painful experience of losing a family member.

1. Open Up

It is important to realize that everyone processes death in different ways. Understand that your loss is your personal journey and no one can truly feel your pain. That is why it is important that you open up. You should not be afraid to talk about your loss. By opening up you allow those around you to offer comfort. Consider joining a support group where you will find other people who can relate to your experience.

Following the death of a family member, you will be flooded with phone calls, emails, letters, and sympathy cards. They are chilling reminders of your grief. Open up only when you are ready to talk about it.

It took several weeks for me to get over the death of my son. For the first two weeks, I was literally unable to function. I quickly learned that by talking about my loss it became easier to cope with emotional pain and stress. I was surprised to learn that many of the people I talked to had similar experiences. Their words of encouragement gave me the strength to face my own reality.

2. Avoid Covering Up

Masking your pain is not the answer. Avoid hiding your feelings as it could lead to destructive behavior like drug addiction or alcoholism. Processing the death of a family member is painful. Therefore, allow yourself to grieve and stay as close to reality as humanly possible. If you drink alcoholic beverages or use narcotic pain medication, now is the time to back off. I was once addicted to crack cocaine. If anything can lead you down the road to addiction, it would be the death of someone close to you.

3. Let Your Emotions Flow

Whenever something hurts, whether it is emotional or physical pain the first thing you want to do is cry. Now is the time to understand that it is alright to cry. Friends can sometimes have a negative effect on your emotional stability. They might tell you to stay strong for your family. But again, no one knows your pain but you.

Losing a family member to death is painful. Trying to appear strong will only cause you to internalize your pain. Sooner or later, all that internal pressure will have to be released. And nobody knows what will happen when it is released. Volcanic eruptions are caused by internal pressure being built up inside the earth over a period of time. No one knows where or when such an eruption might occur.

4. Take Time to Heal

Emotional scars are invisible, but they leave lasting scars that are often more noticeable than physical scars. All things change with time. Allow yourself time to recover from such an inconceivable loss. Never place a limit on how long it takes to heal. Don’t put a timetable on your grieving, and never allow someone to tell you that you are grieving too long. There is no such thing as a typical allocation of time affixed for grieving for your loved one.

5. Cherish Good Memories When Grieving Family Loss

For a very long time after the death of my son, I tortured myself with negative memories of him. In my head, I saw him lying on a hospital bed in agony. When I closed my eyes I didn’t see his big wide smile. I did not hear the familiar sound of his laughter. Caught up in his suffering, I forgot about all of the good times we spent together. Take pleasure in remembering the good times you shared with your family member. Focus on seeing their smile and hearing their laughter. Concentrate on celebrating the life of your family member rather than memorializing their death.


Believing Faith

Believing Faith is an Online Ministry, building faith through blogging Biblical content.

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2 weeks ago

Greetings in Jesus ‘ name

“Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.” Jeremiah 33:3

Prayer is fellowship with the Unseen and Most Holy God. It is the essence of true religion and the channel of all blessings. It is the secret of power and life not only for ourselves, but for others, for the Church and for the world. God has given the right to take hold of Him and His strength to prayer. The promises wait for their fulfillment.
If you ask, He will be delighted to take you to closer fellowship with Himself and teach you to pray.
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1 month ago

Recovery From Emotional/Psychological Trauma

Emotional trauma is the result of stressful events that shatter your sense of security, making you feel helpless in a dangerous world; it can leave you struggling with memories and anxiety that won’t go away.
Emotional/psychological trauma could be caused by accident, injury, an unexpected violent attack, living in a neighboring known for crime, battling a life threatening illness; it could also be as a result of experiencing traumatic events that occur repeatedly like domestic violence, sexual abuse, bullying, loneliness, and addiction. It could also be caused by the sudden death of a loved one or deeply disappointing experience.

What are the symptoms of trauma?
*Anxiety and panic attacks; anger and irritability
*Fear, emotional numbing,depression and confusion
*Racing heart beats, mood swings, muscle tension and agitation
*Shame, guilt, feelings of sadness and hopelessness
*Fatigue, feeling of worthlessness, withdrawing from people.
*Ache and pains, obsessions and feeling of being overwhelmed.

What do you do to recover from emotional trauma?
1. Don’t isolate: Make an effort to maintain your relationships and avoid spending too much time alone
2. You don’t have to talk about the trauma all the time
3. Participate in social activities.
4. Join a support group for trauma survivors: connecting with them help reduce the sense of isolation; and hearing how others cope could help in your own recovery.
5. Volunteer to help others: In fact, this is a great way to challenge the sense of hopelessness that often accompanies trauma. Remind yourself of your strengths and reclaim your sense of power by helping others.
6. Make new friends if you live far away from family and friends; and avoid toxic people.
7. Self regulate your nervous system: No matter how agitated, nervous, or out of control you feel; it’s important you know that you can calm yourself.
8. Take care of your health
9. Get plenty of sleep
10. Avoid alcohol and drugs as their use can worsen your trauma symptoms, and increase feelings of depression, anxiety and isolation.
11. Eat a well balanced diet to keep your energy up and minimize mood swings.
12. Reduce stress by relaxation techniques such as meditation, deep breathing exercises and schedule time for activities that bring joy to you such as your favorite hobbies.
13. Forgive all hurts and forget the past as this can also worsen the symptoms.

Recovery from trauma takes time, and everyone heals differently. So, avoid being negative or hard on yourself.

Beyond all the tips mentioned above, is the power of God to heal your broken heart and mend your broken life in Jesus’ name.

“But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.” Isaiah 53:5
But, for you to be healed with His stripes, you need to be reconciled with Him.
Jesus is the only Mediator between God and man; and you can only be reconciled to God if you believe in Jesus; in what He accomplished on your behalf. What did He do? He, being the Son of God and the Mediator between you and God, paid the price of your iniquities(sin) by leaving His abode in Heaven, became flesh, at the appointed time, He was betrayed, crucified, died and was buried; but He rose on the third day granting victory to whoever believes in Him. He was sinless but He tasted death for you and me. He paid the ultimate price to grant us access to the Father and to His Kingdom because no one can access the Father without Him.
He says : “I am the Way, the Truth and the Life, no man cometh to the Father but by me.” John 14:6
We can’t access God’s Kingdom with good works, morals and religious activities alone; they are not enough to save your soul and reconcile you with your Maker, because it is written: “For all have sinned, and have come short of the glory of God” Romans 3:23
So, you simply need to believe in Jesus, repent of your sin, and be saved
“Whosoever call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved”
Talk to Him and He will heal you.
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